These inward trials I employ...

After feeling a little 1 Cor. 4:11-13 for the last couple of days, Mr. John Newton jumped out from the past (1779) to remind me of God's providence in everything.

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.


I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
and by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.


Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.


Yea more, with His own hand
He seemed intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.


“Lord why is this,” I trembling cried,
“Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?”
“’Tis in this way,” the Lord replied,
“I answer prayer for grace and faith.”


“These inward trials I employ,
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

John Newton, “I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow” (1779).