The "feedback" of atheism and porn (or any willful sin)

A recent conversation with a friend helped me see something chilling about sin. This friend is looking at porn and, simultaneously, discovering a growing doubt in his soul. This is because every indulgence of pornography must include some level of atheism. To keep looking we have to believe:

• God is not there.
  
• God is not good (at least He is holding out on me, so I will get what I want for myself).
• God does not see.
• God doesn't care about my sin.

To do what God forbids, at least one of these prerequisite beliefs is required. I couldn't look at porn if Jesus were physically present. (Some of the more hardened types might think they could, but my guess is they aren't free with their viewing when any person walks in the room). So I must repress the idea that he sees, cares about and must deal with my sin.

The problem with "believing" these things (even temporarily) is that I cannot plant the seed and not expect it to grow. Puritan pastor John Owen said it this way:

"Every time sin rises to tempt or entice, it always seeks to express itself in the extreme. Every unclean thought or glance would be adultery if it could; every covetous desire would be oppression; and every unbelieving thought would be atheism. It is like the grace that is never satisfied."

So the temporary atheism required to willfully sin will increase to more lasting doubt in God and His promises. This doubt will open the way for more sin. It is a feedback loop that leads to hardness of heart. We shouldn't be surprised if we find a growing doubt in the midst of our willful sin. We are fostering it.

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. (Hebrews 3.12–14)

There is much more than morality at stake here. With every click (or any willful sin) you are choosing to lose softness to God and your original confidence in the gospel.

Stay Tuned...
This year's Spring Training for Men starts on 3/24 (for 7 weeks) and will include reading "The Mortification of Sin" by John Owen (I have purchased 40 copies)